Failing to properly appreciate your spouse can cause friction in a marriage at some point. Here are ways to deal with the situation
Be willing to step forward and dialogue
When your spouse starts taking you for granted, it is of primary importance to first sit down to a conversation about it. The due process of all relationship matters is to share all grievances openly so that dialogue can begin. It is important to choose the right speech (clear, loving, non-emotional) when discussing the issue. Focus on using “I feel” statements rather than attack statements. Attack from one person usually leads to defence and counter-attack from another. You must always keep the conversation open and progressive if you want to make headway and solve your problem.
Carry out an appraisal of your own behaviour
You must decide if you are showing your partner enough love, affection and affirmation. If you are not, it’s time to do a self-check. This can be done by welcoming your spouse home in an affectionate manner. Give hugs and kisses regularly, reaching for their hand, sending thoughtful text or email messages. Leave little love notes in cute spots and regularly compliment them. If you are showing your spouse plenty of affirmation, then it is time to tactfully request what you need. Let your spouse know that you are feeling taken for granted and give him or her a variety of ideas that will make you feel important and loved. A caring partner should start adding a few small gestures into their daily routine. If not, maybe it’s time to get some professional help.
Show up consciously for your partner
According to http://ift.tt/1Rg3jeC,a relationship is the sum of two parts, the two parts being human beings. Hence, you must be conscious and be there for your spouse every single day. Otherwise, you risk being taken for granted. Being conscious in a relationship is something you must develop over time. It’s easy to think of yourself because you are in your own body but you must take some responsibility for how your actions affect your partner.Bring up specific things that are going on in their daily life, and allow them space to open up to you. When you stop connecting in small ways each day, the bridge between the both of you keeps getting longer. The more you actively stay present in each other’s experiences, the more you will rely on and cherish the small moments you have with one another.
Be mindful and re-evaluate your boundaries
Become mindful of your feelings, obligations and the demands that you are under. Listen to your heart, your body, and spirit. Make sure that you are eating right, getting enough sleep and balancing work and play. If you have left your spiritual needs unattended to, get back to your spiritual practices. Check to see if you are experiencing any stress related to work or other responsibilities that may be affecting you. Take the time to care for yourself before approaching your partner.
Do some soul-searching
If you feel that your partner is not paying enough attention to you, take stock and do a bit of soul-searching and reflecting. Ask yourself a few questions like, “Am I acting as I wish to be treated? Do I regularly express my love and care for my partner and show appreciation? A good place to start when you expect your partner to change is a quick check-in on your own behaviour. Be on the lookout for hypocrisy and start with yourself as a powerful place for change.
Reassess your expectations
Not everyone has the same expectations of a partner or the same responses when that partner does not behave exactly as you might want. Some people use affection or sexual desire as their measuring stick. Others worry more about how much time a partner wants to devote to the relationship. Still, others measure availability by gestures, phrases, or even just patience. Ask yourself what your partner is doing now that is disappointing you or triggering your insecurity that might be a sign that he or she is pulling away or not making you the high priority you feel they once did.
Bad thinking only escalates the bad feelings
This kind of thinking is vicious and can only escalate whatever bad feelings are already there.The best way to turn this around is to set aside your vengeful feelings and begin acting like your spouse’s best friend. Even when you think you are not being treated as a friend, always try to act like your spouse’s best friend.
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